Staff Members & Hard Conversations

Let’s be real, pastors.

Sometimes your staff members mess up.

Sometimes, they fall into bad habits or patterns that need to be addressed by you, the leader.

Most people don’t like conflict. But it’s necessary if you want to have a healthy team and organization.

Sometimes you can ask questions that allow people to point out their own missteps. Other times, however, head-on confrontation may either be your best or only option.

Two key steps to handling this type of conflict.

1. Be Clear. Every employee is different. You’re probably aware of the best time, place, and environment to approach them. However you begin the conversation, just make sure it’s clear. Leave no confusion about what you’re saying. Don’t beat around the bush. Don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t speak in code.

1. Be Direct. A leader needs to have a game plan when going into this conversation. Be prepared. Make sure your employee knows exactly why there’s a problem. You obviously don’t want to be rude or condescending, but there’s no point in having this conversation if the person on the other side doesn’t connect the dots of your frustration and their behavior. Again, preparation is key.

Here’s an example script of a clear, direct approach you can take with your employees.

Hey, can we chat real quick? I’ve noticed that you’ve either missed or been late to several staff meetings over the past month. There may be something I’m unaware of, but continual lateness sends a message to our team that staff meeting isn’t a priority.

I just want to check in with you first. Is there something keeping you from getting here on time that I can help you with?

I’m not mad at you. I’m on your team. But I’d like for you to start getting here on time.

Before we go, is there anything else you want or need to say?

That night or the next day, follow up with a casual, encouraging connection. Even if it’s just a text that says: “How ya doin?” Remind people that you care about and value them.

Want more staff resources? Here’s a blog that helps you plan your staff meetings. Enjoy!

Staff Meeting: 8 Topics For Your Next 8 Meetings!